Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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