She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
3pm strippers are depressing
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
