I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
