i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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