Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
