i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
