I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
