She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
is it fun? or sober?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
