I think my fart just growled at me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize