He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize