I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't turn off my feet"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
