They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
