My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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