Pappa wants mamma naked
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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