remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
