The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
