I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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