Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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