Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
