I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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