Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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