I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize