My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize