Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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