You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
