its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
