I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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