What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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