Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
