Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
