you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
