how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I enjoy the company of your penis
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize