This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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