All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
