See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Acid is not a monday night drug
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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