so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
