so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
