im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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