I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
