Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
there is glitter all over my balls
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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