What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's get the cat blown out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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