i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
