oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
