It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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