My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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