I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize