Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
