No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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