Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
