I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
