it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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