His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
