Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
