apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
