hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
