: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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