I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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