You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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