How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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