Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Operation Purity has been aborted
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
