The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
