He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
