There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
