I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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