she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
