Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Only a mothe r could love this liver
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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