he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize