So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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